1ST Ten Items or Fewer

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Item 1: I received my edition of the Bluegrass Breakdown the other day and as usual was impressed with it. I do need to add a few changes to the Minutes of the Board meeting in this months issue.

 A.There was much talk about making the CBA “Great Again” among the Board members and an idea was thrown out that was quickly debated and voted on.CBA members had expressed their opinion to the Board members that the Sunday Gospel show cold use a little  “Heavenly Boost.” After a long and arduous discussion a committee was selected to contact either Jimmy Swaggart or Kenneth Copeland and ask them if they would like to spend a Sunday morning in California hosting the Gospel portion of our CBA Festival. Board members gave each other  well deserved fist bumps in celebration.

Not to be outdone with the Gospel addition, an idea was presented with hopes that might attract some more younger folks to the festival. Folks in the youthful 60-70 year young  range. There was a quick discussion and it was decided that the Board would try to reach Mr. Ozzy Osborn to see if he would like to host the Friday night CBA program.
 It was understood that absolutely no bats or fowl would be allowed on the performing stage.
C: The lovely, talented,freindly,Lynn Cornish set aside a few minutes from caring for Rick, making beautiful art with her paints and brush and tending to her own little zoo at Whiskey Creek asked the Board if she could address them about a topic that was near and dear to her heart.

Lynn stated that since the CBA has finally accepted dogs to the festival after many contentious years of discussion maybe it was time to discuss the feasibility of opening the gates to allowing llamas (on a tether) to attend the show.
Lynn went on to explain how she was unable to attend the CBA Festival because she had to care for her llamas and how she would appreciate it if she were able to bring them to the festival. The Board tabled the request until the Spring Camp Out meeting in Turlock.Good luck Lynn!

D: Luckily there was no discussion about building a wall around the fairgrounds to keep untuned banjo players and their atonal ilk away from real musicians.

3: Speaking of Mr. Cornish: Rick has finally announced the publication of his new coffee table book, “Why I Never Dye, My love affair with tee tops to tank tops from thread, to thimble, to treadle, an illustrated history of the shirts I have Never dyed, but loved, worn and washed.” Rick tells me his tome, the 650 page, with 756 gorgeous color photographs is currently available on Amazon. For those of you who want the true scoop on Rick and his shirts this is a great way to get the real story.

4: Election update: Those with the most votes or those with the most delegates may not be the chosen one to run our country after all. To quote a famous philosopher, “To those who think life is a comedy, To those who feel life is a tragedy.” Where do you stand during his complete chaos?

5: Sheila and I saw the wonderful long time third base coach for the SF Giants, Tim Flannery and the Lunatic Fringe at the Turlock Auditorium a few weeks back. Tim can write, strum and sing with the best of them and the show was a success. The only problem was the length of the show. The show began at 7:30 and was over a bit after 11 P.M. For us older folks that is too long. Tim, a great show but you have to leave the audience wanting more not a pillow.

5: A couple of outstanding jokes that night that do bear repeating.
Joke A: An exasperated man storms into his shrink’s office babbling repeatedly, “I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam.” The concerned shrink told his patient to sit down, put his hand on his shoulder and softly said, “Relax, you’re just too tense.”

Joke B: Another shrink’s office. Another upset man storms into the office. This man was wearing absolutely nothing a whole lot of Saran Wrap. The man jumped on top of the shrink’s desk and started yelling, “I’m a crazy man! I’m a crazy man!” The shrink lit his pipe, puffed and said, “Yes, Yes I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

6: Baseball season is upon us. The sky is blue the air is fresh and the trees stand tall and proud in our hamlet called Turlock. I can’t wait to go to my first game in a couple of weeks and see how our boys in orange and black are doing. Our other boys across the Bay in Oakland will be looking to repeat as NBA Champions this year. If there is a better player than Steph Curry let me know. He not only has the skills but has the attitude and the presence of mind to know that basketball is still just a game. He enjoys it and his positive attitude is good karma spread around the Warrior Clubhouse. Bay Area Folks are so lucky to have them and the Giants.

7: That’s about it. Until May 6, or the Twelfth of Never: Read a book, hug a child, pet a dog, stroke a cat, eat a bar of chocolate and smile.

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