I came across an article the other day that really hit home and made me think about some feelings I have been experiencing over the last couple of months. It’s called “The 9 Phases of Post-Concert Depression” by Cassie Whitt and was posted on the Alternative Press website. It perfectly describes the way I feel after going to shows and festivals, and I was thrilled to discover that it is not just me!
Phase One is Euphoria. I experience euphoria throughout the show and that all comes to a head once the music stops. My body still buzzing from the music vibrating through my body for hours and I can’t stop smiling as I look around at the dispersing crowd and wonder if they feel the same way I do. Did they just have the same cosmic experience I did?
Phase Two is Reflection. For me this phase usually lasts from the time I leave the venue through the next day or two. I replay the event in my head, telling anyone that will listen how awesome the music was and how on fire the musicians were or how intense the crowd was, trying to get the listener to understand just how amazing and life changing the show was.
Phase Three is Realization. This is where I start to struggle. I realize that the experience is over and it will never happen again. My life was changed by that show and now what? How am I supposed to go on? I look at the pictures and they make me happy, but that euphoria has faded and I can’t figure out how to get it back.
Phase Four is Reality. This phase kicks in when we have to go back to “real life.” The boring job, the screaming kids, the needy spouse, dirty house and broken car. At this point it is difficult for me to think about anything other than how much I want to be out on the road, following the band and really living life, not just going through the motions. This phase is generally quite frustrating for my family.
Phase Five is Feeling Left Out. This is when I realize that no one else can really get it. I try to find the euphoric feeling again by talking about the show, but people aren’t interested like they should be and I find myself getting frustrated at their lack of understanding. And then it hits me – the only people that understand how I feel are probably at a show.
Phase Six is Stalking. You can see how phase five leads easily to phase six. Now I am sad and depressed about not being at a show, so I start searching social media for videos and pictures of the shows that I’m missing. For me, that means reaching out on social media and friending other fans. I searched YouTube for new videos and asked people that were there about the setlist, anything to try to soak up some of someone else’s euphoria.
Phase Seven is Lack of Impulse Control. This is where things start to get a little ugly for me. Once I realize that the only way things are going to improve for me is to go to another show, I find myself checking tour dates and looking at ticket availability. I start rationalizing driving multiple hours and spending money and taking time off of work to chase that euphoric feeling again. Who says money can’t buy me happiness?
Phase Eight is Acceptance. I have an addiction. I AM going to drive three hours to go see my guys headline a show and I AM going to spend a ridiculous amount of money just to see them open for another band that I don’t really like. On the other hand, there are times when I look at the next date in Cleveland and tell myself that I just can’t make it work and will have to wait until next time because I can’t justify the cost of the plane ticket and hotel just to see my band play in a tiny bar for two hours. I’m still rational… mostly.
Phase Nine is Living. As the memory and feelings of the show become part of the past, it gets a little easier to manage my addiction. I can watch videos and look at pictures and feel a little bit of that happiness that still lives inside me, now that the weight of phases three through eight have lessened some.
This is the phase that I am currently in, although my husband might differ with that and tell you that I am still stuck in Phase Seven since I just spent $80 on three shows in December. I haven’t been to a show since August… wait, make that October… that’s like six weeks between shows. In all likelihood there will be very few shows I want to see until the spring, when it will also be time to start planning for summer festivals, starting with the CBA Father’s Day Festival. I can’t wait to start the cycle all over again!
