A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

Written by:

I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. It’s perfect for shy, retiring stay-at-home types like me! I don’t need to make up any lame excuses for declining offers of hospitality. No boring relatives or political arguments at the dinner table.  I can just be myself and enjoy a nice day of peace and quiet. Now there’s something to be thankful for!

I can sleep in as late as I want. If I had any hair on my bald head I’d wake up with a Boris Johnson haircut and not give a flip. I can leave my hair mussed up all day! (Just out of curiosity, if you attached a wig with a Boris Johnson hairdo to a melon, don’t you think people would say “Hey that melon looks like Boris Johnson.”)?
Once I’m fully awake in my super secure Covid bubble, I’ll take a bike ride before the mid-day meal and maybe read some if I have time. Anything but TV or internet, I don’t want to ruin an otherwise special day.
OK I’m hungry. It’s time for another holiday feast. So easy this year! All I have to do is warm up the oven and insert my frozen Swanson’s turkey TV dinner for the proper amount of time. It will be cooked to perfection so long as I remember to crimp back the foil in the far corner as per the directions. At the supermarket yesterday I stood six feet behind another old codger who was stocking up on Swansons. I couldn’t see behind the mask whether he had a smile on or not but I sure had a smile on mine. Maybe I should have said something but from six feet away you’re even more of a stranger.
The TV dinner was pretty good. Now I’m ready for some music. I break out my trusty axe and light into Albuquerque Turkey and Turkey in the Straw. Something’s missing. I find the words to Turkey in the Straw but it’s still no good. I know the old tune Ash Grove and it has lyrics:
Let all things now living 
A song of Thanksgiving.
But it’s just not the same. Reluctantly, I come to the realization that the Covid Grinch has stolen Thanksgiving.
So I guess it’s time for me and my fellow citizens of Whoville to rise up and do something about this. A vaccine may be very near but the beneficial effects of it are still far away. We need to alter our behaviors as much as we can to fight back.
The above scenario is of course a spoof. I am fortunate enough to be looking forward to another Thanksgiving with my family. It may not be as large a gathering as we would all like but it’s a gathering. I am optimistic and I believe that a year from now we will have yet another thing to be thankful for: a much more normal Thanksgiving.
Till shadows have vanished
And darkness is banished
As Forward we travel from light into light
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Read about: