Daily Grist; “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, puts up with more crap during their lifetime than a person with a warm and forgiving heart.”– JD Rhynes
One of the most natural funny men I have ever met in my life was Roscoe Keithley. Roscoe was an ol’ Missouri country boy who was always coming up with a new “country saying” ( to me that is ) that most of the time would drop you to your knees in laughter. I will never forget the time Keith Little and Sonny Hammond and I were having breakfast at the sportsman’s Lodge in Pollock Pines in 1979 when I happened to notice that Roscoe was sitting at the counter eating breakfast. Keith little went and invited him to join us so he picked up his plate and came and sat at our table with us. After shaking hands all around, I asked Roscoe how he was doing? His reply was; well hoss, as soon as I get on the outside of these hashbrowns and eggs and toast, I’ll be doing fine ! Sonny almost spit a mouthful of coffee across the table at that remark. Just one example of Roscoe’s country humor. When the California bluegrass Association was first formed, Roscoe was the master of ceremonies for the first two or three festivals and concerts. He was my mentor when it came to being a good master of ceremonies. I credit him with teaching me the finer points of the art, and how to dress for the stage. Roscoe was a very sharp dresser and I will never forget the advice he gave me on that subject. He told me to dress the best that I can afford to, and if you think you’re a little overdressed just add a little more sparkle and you’ll be dressed just right. Good advice from my mentor that I always followed and never did forget.
Roscoe was a good storyteller too, the kind of storyteller that jes held everybody entranced while telling a story. Roscoe was raised in Missouri by his grandparents back during the horrible depression of the 20s and 30s, and one of his classic one-liners describing how poor they were back then that I was fortunate to hear him tell several times when asked if his family was poor? He would always reply; Hoss, we were so poor back then we didn’t take the garbage out, we brought it in!
Roscoe used to tell us stories about his grandmother who was a good fiddle player, and this story has to be the classic of all classics. His grandparents owned an old Tmodel Ford sedan, and he said one day this guy came by and offered to swap his grandmother a real good fiddle for that T-Model Ford sedan. He said his grandmother played a couple of tunes on it and swapped the T model for the fiddle. He said his grandfather came in from work about dark and asked his grand mother; where is the car? He said his grandmother never said a word, went and got the fiddle and played eighth of January for his grandfather, then said I swapped it for this good fiddle. His grandfather said you made a good swap, and never said another word about it for the rest of his life.
Roscoe lived to be in his early 90s and was a wonderful God-fearing man. He moved back to his native Missouri after retiring and I am a better man for knowing him. Rest in peace ol’ Hoss. Those of us who are fortunate to have you as a friend will never forget you and your wonderful stories and one-liners.
