Daily Grist–One must remember that the boiling water that makes the egg hard, also softens the potato. It is not your situation life that determines how you handle life’s trials and tribulations. It is your inner strength, resolve, and determination to persevere that sees you through all that life throws at you. In other words,”cowboy up”
Looking back over the years of attending our Father’s Day bluegrass Festival at grass Valley, I have a lot of fond memories of all the good times shared with family and friends. Invariably it seems that every year one of our good friends will pull a good joke on us, or we will pull one on them. Over the years I have had a lot of my good friends pull world-class jokes on me at the festival, not that they were planned weeks days months in advance, they just kind of happen due to the circumstances that present themselves. Here’s one that I pulled on several unsuspecting people back from 1980, and how it happened was absolutely a thing of beauty. I was talking to Rose Maddox backstage when she brought up Merle Haggard’s name just in the course of the conversation we were having and she told me that she had opened a show for him recently. I thought it was a private conversation but I noticed three or four people standing behind her definitely had their ears turned our way eavesdropping. I motioned their way with my eyes, and asked Rose, do you think he might show up at the festival incognito just to catch your show? In reply she said; funny you should mention that JD, he said he just might get in his old 56 Ford truck with his camper on it, and just blend in with the crowd and maybe do a little jamming in the parking lot. He loves to do that you know she said. She then went on to tell me how he just love that old green 56 Ford truck and his camper because it allowed him toblend in with the crowd. Rose confided to me later that she saw one in the parking lot that match that description as she drove into the festival. Within an hour it was all over backstage that Merle Haggard was going to show up and three or four people swore up and down that they saw him wearing shades and an old slouch hat, because they had definitely spotted his old green 56 Ford truck with a camper on it in the parking lot. Rose and I got a lot of mileage out of that that weekend. Ha ha Ha. Just one example how jokes can happen spontaneously. That was one of my better ones.Rose and I laughed about that one for years and years.
One of my best musical friends I’ve ever had is John Lytle,and what this man cannot think of to pull on you is beyond your imagination.His sense of humor is absolutely diabolical. Did I mention that John is also a genius? He is an engineer and among his credits are some of the lenses in the Hubble telescope, to say that John is intelligentis the understatement of the century. I have yet to find anybody that has a sense of humor that can outthink his when it comes to thinking up good jokes. Here’s one he pulled on me. I used to carry a 35mm camera to all the festivals and would usually take six or seven rolls of film. I had them all developed after a festival one year, and my youngest daughter who was around 10 years old at the time asked me; daddy, how come we’re not in any of these pictures? HMMMMMMM I thought, that is a real good question, how come I’m not in at least 10 or 12 of these, because it is my camera and film? SOOOOOOOOOO, fast forward to the next festival and knowing that John is an excellent photographer and knows all about 35mm cameras, like the fool that I am asked him if he would mind taking some pictures for me at the festival that weekend, and handed him my camera with six rolls of film. It would be my distinct pleasure he said as he took my camera and film, later I thought to myself did he have that evil grin on his face and that glint in his eye, which I immediately discounted as mere superstition. Come Sunday eveningafter the festivals through he hands me my camera and film and says here you are old pal, and this time he definitely had that evil grin on his face. About a week later I had the film developed only to discover why he had the evil grin on his face that evening. Group pictures were from the knees down, or the neck up, slanted, camera shaking as the picture was snapped, and about 35 or 40 pictures of the sun coming up early in the morning through the pines.Basically not one damn picture worth a damn. I waited about three months and then at three o’clock one morning I called him on the phone. A very sleepy John answered the phone after about 12 rings and that is when I started cussing him. Lytle you dirty no good blank blank blank blank blank a blank blank blank, I hate your guts! He dropped the phone laughing picked it up and said; it’s obvious you got the pictures developed. I vowed eternal revenge on him and any of his heirs for centuries to come.
Like I said before, opportunities to present themselves for jokes spontaneously and at the next festival, John pitched his tent right next to my camp. He had one of those big umbrella tents that you could walk around inside of and was a real roomy tent. Now I like to rise early at daylight, get the coffee going to cook a good hearty breakfast and get the day started, as my dad used to say, like a real man does. It was a real cool morning that morning and the air was nice and still and it was quiet as a mouse, so naturally I had to wake John and his girlfriend and tell them that coffee would be ready soon. I waited close to an hourand I knew they could smell the coffee perking, but I waited until I could hear some real”amorous noise”emanating from John’s tent before I sprang my joke on them. I had purposely brought with me a huge bottle of Morgan’s spiced rum that blends real well with coffee and you can hardly taste it until you get a big slug of it, but by then it’s too late! SOOOO, I poured about 2 inches of rum into two very large foam coffee cups, went next door to John’s tent, set one down so I could unzipped the tent door, yelled “room service” picked up the coffee and entered the tent just in time to see two naked bodies disappear under a huge blanket. Set the coffee cups next to their bed, and announced breakfast in one hour,eat it or go without, left the tent zipped the door back up, went and sat down with my cuppa coffee and listened. It took about 5 min. I could hear him blowing on his coffee to cool it, then took a big sip , followed with a very long “AAQAQAAGGGYHHHH” ! Rhynes you dirty blank like blank blank blank blank,! Okay pal we are even for the pictures, to which I replied, oh no were not I’m just getting started. Ha ha ha ha.
In the years following that fun time I’m sure we pulled more jokes on each other,but none of them stand out like these in my memory. In years to come John helped me pull a joke of a friend of mine, Sonny Hammond, who lived in Portland Oregon. It involved a inflatable sheep that we gave him for his birthday one year, more on that in years to come. Also more stories about John’s jokes that he pulled when in college in Arizona. Stay tuned folks,these are world-class practical jokes.
