I had a wonderful time at the Berkeley Old Time Music Convention last month. The music was very moving and easy to love; the people were friendly and approachable. I met locals from the Bay Area, people from around the state and even a couple that came all the way from Missouri! I learned a lot – about music and about myself, I had a great time with family and friends, and I discovered another wonderful little nugget under the musical umbrella.
Many people I spoke with, after introducing themselves, followed with,” So what instrument do you play?” This leads to the conversation about how I don’t play anything but I REALLY love listening to music, especially stringed instruments. In the past, in other circles, that is where the conversation ended. But not in this group.
I was caught off guard when a woman I was talking to responded to my response with a short, “Well, not yet.” I must have looked confused because she quickly elaborated with a smile, “You don’t play an instrument, yet.”
I nodded and smiled while that thought sunk in. I truly hadn’t thought about it that way before. While it may be true for me someday, I haven’t yet felt compelled to pick up an instrument. But I do not passively listen to music. I like to be close to those making it, so I can see what their fingers are doing as they make their various sounds. I learn a little about how to play and about the differences in the way an instrument can be played to achieve a similar sound. Perhaps as I learn more in this manner, I will start to get the bug. One never knows.
I do believe that in the Bluegrass and Old-time communities the “not yet” saying is true. This woman went on to tell me how she was watching someone play the fiddle and decided she wanted to learn how to play. Four years later she is playing in jams, like the one outside the Freight and Salvage the Friday night of the Convention and in the String Band contest at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning. I saw it with my own eyes, but I can’t believe she learned to be that good in just four years without some amount of natural talent, which I believe I lack.
I don’t play any instruments, but it certainly isn’t for a lack of trying. I took guitar lessons in the second grade, giving it up after a year because I wasn’t learning anything other than Do-Re-Me and My Darlin’ Clementine. I wanted to play like Garcia and Clapton – not Elmo from Sesame Street! I have since determined that quitting guitar lessons was the first bad decision I ever made. I spent my teen years trying to master Beatles songs on the keyboard, doing a decent job of learning the notes but never learning how to make it come together as a song. In college I tried my hand at the guitar again but it still wasn’t happening for me. There was just something awkward and unnatural about the guitar in my hand and my fingers wouldn’t follow directions. As natural as it felt to listen to music, it didn’t feel natural when I tried to make it myself. I decided a long time ago that it’s best for everyone if I participate in other ways.
Since the BOTMC, I’ve been thinking a lot about whether I’m just being lazy in not giving an instrument another try, or if it is acceptable to admit I have a different relationship with music. I’m sure I could work really hard and learn to pick a banjo, but I doubt I would ever reach a level of competence that I could be happy with. And for me, music is all about enjoyment. It makes me feel happy and brings a smile to my face. Practicing Angelina Baker over and over and over again doesn’t sound like a fun, smilin’ time to me.
As I was starting to really get down on myself about my lack of enthusiasm and probable laziness, I had a late night epiphany that set me straight: I want to be free to enjoy the music, not be a slave to playing it.
Most of my favorite musicians have said something in interviews or memoirs about having no choice but to play the music. No matter how crappy the venue or the crowd, how long the tour kept them away from loved ones, they have no choice but to keep on truckin’. The muse drives them to do it. As someone without the muse, who has to force music out of my fingers, that sounds exhausting!
But I can understand the drive to be immersed in the music and the desire to follow wherever it goes; I want to be a part of someone else’s creation and experience their art as the muse manifests itself. It’s an honor to be a part of that event. Besides, musicians need an audience, right? We can’t all be the performers. In my experience, musicians also need people around them to make sure they don’t have anything else to worry about but the music. And I’m good at those types of things – scheduling and coordinating, planning trips, heck, even meal planning. I figure my skills as a mom make me a prime candidate for a tour manager!
Not that I’m looking to change careers any time soon, but I felt better after I took some time to analyze my relationship to music and how I can fit in with people that are equally as passionate about it as I am. There’s a place for me, even if I can’t pick a lick! So I’m looking for opportunities to volunteer and ways to share live music with others. I’m talking to friends and family about my experiences and encouraging them to get out and see shows. In sharing my stories, people are sharing their experiences with me and I learn a little bit more about the world. It’s absolutely fascinating. There’s so much to learn and such wonderful stories to be shared.
So up next for me is an acoustic folk jam here in Sacramento and hopefully the Fall Camp Out in Lodi. I’m still working through books and other suggestions that have been sent my way, slowly but surely. And I’m hoping to find a little time for some rock and roll, too!
