Good morning from Whiskey Creek, which, even during the height of a down pour, which we’ve had, thank you Lord, plenty of, isn’t running much this year because a landowner upstream from us has decided, for whatever reason, not to replace a 36 inch culvert that has collapsed on his property. By now I would surely have spoken to the fellow, urged him to fix the problem, probably even offered to spearhead a fund raising campaign among the other down stream landowners to help with the expense, were it not for the fact that the guy with the caved in culvert is known in our county far and wide as an individual whose interest in collaborative problem-solving is limited to only solutions that involve fists and/or shotguns. Well, that’s not entirely true—there was a while back a story circulating about an issue he and a neighbor “explored” with the use of a 20-pound sledgehammer…his, not the neighbor’s.
But none of this has one bit to do with the subject of my Welcome column this morning. I want to talk a little about nagging and then finish up by doing a little nagging.
Women, specifically women who are wives, have a reputation for being naggers. Okay, I’m going to take a deep breath here, brace myself, and just come out at say it…it’s a reputation that is generally well-deserved. The fact is, most wives do nag their husbands. Lord knows mine nags me. My neighbor’s wife nags him, sons’ nag them, United States of America First Ladies nag theirs, rich women, poor women, young women, old women, neurotic women, spiritually enlighted/psychologically well-adjusted women…most all of them nag their husbands. True, there are some exceptions, but they’re nothing more than the exceptions required to prove any rule.
Now, I imagine more than a few husbands who are reading this are asking themselves, why in the name of God would this idiot PURPOSELY choose to write about PUBLICLY, and no less during those few days each year that much of the human race dedicates to GOODWILL AND PEACE ON EARTH, a topic so toxic and so utterly taboo? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s because after close to thirty-five years of marriage I’ve finally come to understand that not only is wifely nagging as natural a part of matrimony as noodles are to chicken soup, it’s also very, very important to the fabric of society. And that’s society with a CAPITAL “S”…that’s all societies in all ages since Eve told Adam to hang up his fig leaf or put it in the dirty clothes hamper. The truth is, somebody’s got to make sure that stuff gets done in a household, and for whatever reasons, (and social scientists and cultural anthropologists have as many theories about this as there are social scientists and culture anthropologists,) women are stick with the job.
So, now on to my reason for risking the wrath of roughly fifty percent of the earth’s population. If wives have the job of nagging in marriage, then top leadership has the job in 501`c3’s…that is, not-for-profit, tax exempt organizations. I remember not more than a couple weeks after first being elected by the CBA board as chairman that I received a telephone call from Carl Pagter, the man who I’d just succeeded. Carl told me that the purpose of the call was to make absolutely clear that I understood the primary responsibility of my new job. It was, he said, to NAG. And boy oh boy oh boy, was Carl right. By the time I was finished with the twelve or so years as our Association’s leader I’d done such a thorough job that members would turn and run when they saw me coming.
Now, of course, I’m a civilian just like 99% of our wonderful Association’s membership, but, as they say about Texans, you can take ‘em out of Texas but you can’t take Texas out of them. Once a nagger, alas, always a nagger. So, in recognition of this fact, and as a special day-late Christmas present to our two current leaders, let me do just a bit of nagging for them. Please…
Consider making a contribution to our special Youth Academy program when our funding campaign opens next Thursday. If you give a wit about seeing that this music of ours continues into the future, nothing…ASBOLUTELY NOTHING will help more than getting kids playing it;
Look around the attic, in the rafters out in the garage, maybe even your uncle George’s attic or garage, and see if there’s a stringed instrument that is just collecting dust. Our Darrell Johnston Kids Lending Library has put scores and scores of axes into the hands of kids, but still there are needs we haven’t met.
Keep your CBA membership current. I’ll tell you true, friends, there’s very, very little that can be more discouraging to the men and women who work tirelessly to keep the Association humming along than to discover that Joe and Mary Whomever, who never, ever miss a CBA event and haven’t for years, let their membership lapse in ’03 and have just enjoyed a free ride ever since.
And most importantly, please finally give some serious thought to stepping up and taking on a job in the CBA’s leadership. It could be as a board member, one of our many team coordinator jobs, an area vice president…there are many, many jobs that need doing. If your life is enriched by the California Bluegrass Association, now may be the time to pay back.
Okay, that’s it. All done. Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?