Too often we have been judged, ostracized, shunned, talked about, looked down upon, and ridiculed. And with the recent courtship, embracing, and wedding of the CBA to the LGBTQ community, I feel that it is high-time to step forward and bring a new issue to the forefront. My issue that is.
Yes, we males who sing bluegrass above the range of normal expectancy are outraged. I’m talking about men’s voices that start out in the normal tenor range and then go up, up, and up some more. A great example of this is the late John Duffy from the Country Gentlemen, and the original Seldom Scene band. And think about it, really think about it, the Father of Bluegrass, Mr. Bill Monroe fits right into this category. In fact, Bill invented this category.
Oh the spoken voices have been whispers since Bill introduced his high, lonesome sound, and often not even heard. But they have been there, and they are there still. Yes, the voices that speak, “He sounds like a sissy,” and, “That’s not normal,” or, “He must have lost all of his testosterone!” And then there is this big one, “He must really be a girl.” For years and years this has been happening, and for years we have endured the jokes, and the exclusion from the mainstream bluegrass community. But no more.
Being that we all have first amendment rights, and being that the pen is once in a while mightier than the sword, this “closet” door is now open. All the way.
So, my recommendation is that a committee, or a subcommittee, or the current gang-of-eleven CBA folks with clout (you know who you are) come to our rescue. Set this up for voting, “yes” or “no” by all CBA active members, and let us common, ordinary CBA members have our say in the final decision via the “voting booth” (e-mails to CBA members with a “yes” or “no” check-box will work). We need a presence, we need visibility, we need identity, and we need it now! Yes, we need to sing on the main stage in Grass Valley, and Vern’s Stage, and the Pioneer Stage without snide remarks from some members in the audience. And in the bluegrass jams all through the woods of the Nevada County Fairgrounds this coming June we want recognition. We need the people who hear us sing way, way, way, way up there, to stop, ponder, and then say out loud, “There he is, that’s him,” or, “There they are, that’s them.” And then say, “That’s a bona fied HM4THLS!”
We have rights (and we have lefts). We are taking a stand (not a microphone stand). We are now open about it. We demand it. We demand that this long history of general silence about HM4THLS be ended. And we truly feel that if we are accepted, and marketed in an efficient way, that it will no-doubt-about-it increase membership in the CBA! Multiple surreptitious surveys have clearly indicated that there are hundreds (maybe more) of us HM4THLS guys out there, who have not been allowed in the fold, just because we are the way we are. We didn’t ask to be born, but we were, so there, so here we are. What kind of marketing you ask?
I have made contact with a high-end marketer, who guarantees that through the medium of floats in parades, the written word and pictures at various hand-selected websites, newspapers, the internet, UTUBE, and the dropping of thousands of information flyers from helicopters cruising over bluegrass festivals this coming summer all over the world, that our voice, our plea, our cry, and our mission will be accomplished (BTW, the aforementioned marketer demands a retainer, cash only, no used banjos).
So there you go. This may be a joke to you, but it’s not to me, or I should say us. It is what it is, nothing more, nothing less. It is now a time to embrace (“Turn, turn, turn, turn”). A time for fulfillment. A time for a new dimension. A time to think, “Oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that?” Or, “Well, what the heck, MAYBE I CAN PLEASE EVERYBODY!”
Yes, now is the time. It’s just right. Extreme opportunity here. Maximum potential. Come on, help us out. We need help. Extra help. Won’t you please jump onto this brand new Bluegrass Band Wagon without a 20 mule attachment. You won’t be sorry (most of you). If you’re are at home reading this, know that YOU CAN! If you’re at the Great 48 in Bakersfield, know that YOU CAN when you get home. It’s a new year, this is it. How much time do we have? Answer = Not as much as we think. But what to do. What to do next? What to do right now?
My marketing contact person is ready, willing, and able to get this crusade rolling. Her name is Helen Waite, who refuses to give a phone number or e-mail address. She demands that you go through me via HTML code, which will be given to you (in secret) if you see things as I do. Helen is a very patient person, with way too many years of experience to count, but she is good. Very, very good. Now is the time to speak up, whoops, I mean sing up. Yes, sing up, up, and away, unashamedly with reckless abandon. Here’s your chance to go beyond the boundaries that have held you prisoner for so long.
HM4THLS now! HM4THLS in the future! Bumper stickers and T-Shirts should not be ruled out. Yes, “Heterosexual Men For That High Lonesome Sound!” HM4THLS will float your boat, make you see things in a different light, and increase the probability of terminating future sessions with your mental health therapist. I’m not asking that you make your decision right now. Think about it, stew about it, discuss with your friends that see things the way you do. Discuss civilly with friends who don’t see things the way you do (is that even possible?). Put your thoughts and comments on the CBA Message Board (come on, it can use a good jump-start right about now). Continue supporting diversity and inclusion. It’s the right thing to do.
After all, if you can’t change your mind, why have one?
