Note: This is the fourth time we’ve overheard Ted and Jed discussing various issues. We last visited them in November 2019, as they were discussing the unconscious part of the brain, and how Jed bought a new guitar and blamed it on his unconscious (we don’t know how his wife responded to Jed’s excuse).
Ted: Hey Jed, what’s up? What are ya doing there?
Jed: Well Ted, I’m packing and getting ready.
Ted: Ready for what?
Jed: For the spring campout Ted. That’s what. After all, it is April isn’t it? That’s when the campout happens every year. Let’s see now, I need my tent, cook stove, six cans of pork and beans, two packages of spam on a rope, grits, instant potatoes, squirrel heads and instant gray combination mix, a whole chicken already cooked, six Hot Rize biscuits, lots of peanut butter and jelly, a loaf of whole wheat bread, eggs, two apple pies, and JD’s Cookbook. That ought to do it. Oh yeah, also a sleeping bag, flashlight, first aid kit, and a good book. I think I’ll bring the Bill Monroe biography, and the latest issue of the Bluegrass Breakdown. Even though I’ve already read it once, I’ll read it again. You always miss something on the first read. And oh yeah, last but not least, by trusty old guitar. I might even go so far as to change the strings. Can’t remember the last time I did that. What I’m not bringing is a radio, computer, I-Phone, or a newspaper. I’m leaving that stuff behind so I can relax, not get distracted, and lower my stress levels.
Ted: Hold on there, just a minute Jed. Not so fast. Obviously you don’t know. The CBA has cancelled their spring campout for 2020. Something about a health scare, so nobody is going to Lodi. Also I read online on the internet something about an influx of snakes, bears, and mountain lions now inhabiting those fairgrounds.
Jed: In Lodi?
Ted: Yes. But you know, that could be fake news. Those Russians are hacking into the news all the time these days. And they could be behind the wild animals taking over the Lodi Fairgrounds. You know, trying to disrupt and confuse us Americans. Another rumor is that somebody is finally planting a tree by each of the campsites, so there will be more shade. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be, but it seems to me that there is only one tree there now, and you have to get there a month in advance to lay stake to that claim under that one tree. But like I said, except for the cancellation of the CBA campout and fiddle contest, it could be just rumors.
Jed: Well, I don’t care about fact or fiction right now. It seems like I heard the 2020 June Fathers’ Day Festival at Grass Valley is cancelled, due to the fact that Rick Cornish is going to have a knee operation. Wow, I didn’t realize Rick had that much power. I may be way off on that, I tend to get somewhat confused these days. In any case, I’m going to the spring campout. I’ve made up my mind. I’ve been waiting all year. I’m too old to keep worrying about all this stuff you read and hear about on the internet, television, radio, newspapers, and rumors from relatives and neighbors.
Ted: Okay Jed, don’t say I didn’t warn you! You’re packing all your stuff, and then next week you’re going to get in your old red Ford pickup and drive all the way to Lodi for nothing!
Jed: Hold on Ted. I didn’t say I was going to Lodi to the CBA spring campout. I said I’m going the spring campout.
Ted: What the heck do you mean? Are you out of your mind? All the national, state, county, city parks and open spaces are closed to keep the health risk I told you about to a minimum. Are you just going to a campout in your mind?
Jed: Heck no. I’m going to the spring campout in my backyard!
Ted: Now I get it. Great idea. If you don’t mind I’ll go home and pack my camping gear and join you. I’ll bring my CD player. I’ve got some brand new bluegrass compact discs we can play and jam along with. What do you say Jed?
Jed: I say great! Bring your mandolin and those bluegrass tunes, old and new, and we’ll jam along with them. But one thing you have to remember Ted.
Ted: What’s that Jed?
Jed: We have to pitch our tents at least six feet apart. I remember what a loud snorer you are.
Ted: Okay, you’ve got it. One last thing. What song should you and I start out with at your backyard bluegrass spring campout?
Jed: How about, “Home Sweet Home?”
Ted: Great idea. I’m really looking forward to it. Speaking of home, I’ve been under house arrest for so long now I rolled a joint.
Jed: Really? That’s not like you Ted.
Ted: Yes I know Jed. I was in the house walking too fast in the dim light of the hallway, tripped on my dog, and sprained my right ankle.
