Since the days of the great Greek philosophers, humankind has sought to better understand the universe and gain wisdom into the mysterious workings of the universe. This is a never ending process, and we can all gain from this shared knowledge.
Here are several nuggets of this wisdom I shall pass onto you this day. Wherever possible, I attributed these nuggets to their source.
Cohea’s Law: For any given performance, you played neither as bad as you had feared, nor as good as you thought. (Thanks, Larry Cohea)
Cruey’s Axiom: A fiddle has no mass, so a fiddle case weighs the same whether it’s empty or full. Always check the case to verify contents before taking it to a gig. (Thanks, Jill Cruey)
Campbell’s First Law of Human Locomotion: If you see someone, even 50 yards away, coming towards you, by the time you encounter each other, you will still have to jostle back and forth at the last moment to avoid colliding.
Campbell’s Second Law of Human Locomotion: On any given path, the slowest walkers will walk three abreast and hew to the middle of the path, effectively blocking anyone who wants to walk faster.
Irrelevancy of Value Principle: A $35 plectrum is just as easy to lose as a pick that costs 1/100 of that. This principle also applies to sunglasses, and pens.
Ground Sleeping Paradox: No matter how carefully you groom the ground where you will sleep, you will discover a rock right under your shoulder blade or hip. No matter which way you orient yourself, your head will be on the downside of a slope.
The Coffee Conundrum: The hardest time to make coffee is first thing in the morning, when you haven’t yet had a cup of coffee.
Song Selection Dilemma: In a given jam, the song you had planned to call, the one you know you sing and play really well, will be chosen by the person who precedes you in the jam circle.
The End of the Jam Harbinger: When, late in a jam, you realize nobody is in tune, it’s time to call it a night – tuners won’t help – only a good night’s sleep will reset everyone’s ears.
